There's no denying that endometriosis has affected every stage of my life since I hit puberty. Whilst I didn't know it was all thanks to endometriosis, it's clear to me that every path I've taken was in an attempt to feel better or to live a happier and healthier life. This isn't a cry for sympathy, in fact, it's quite the opposite. I could look back and mourn some of the opportunities I've left behind, but I love the direction my life is heading in, and apart from a handful of really shitty experiences that I would rather were totally wiped from my memory, I'm proud of the decisions I made to still follow my dreams and manage endometriosis. And now I'm about to make the biggest lifestyle change for endometriosis that I've possibly ever made so far (though I know there's more to come!).
One thing I openly discuss with my battle against endometriosis, is how much it affects my mental health. And whilst I've made good lifestyle changes and still have pursued my goals (in slightly alternative ways it work), it's become clear to me that more is needed to improve my it. Sometimes these kind of realisations and decisions can be scary, sometimes they're what you've wanted all along. Today I want to talk about why I'm leaving my friends, family and home behind to relocate and begin my next adventure. You can read about this lifestyle change to help me manage endometriosis and depression below and over on Endometriosis News - I truly hope it helps you get closer to leading the life you want with endo.
Why I'm Finally Leaving The City To Manage Endometriosis
I’m about to make a huge life change. This decision has been years in the making, and endo has played a big role in dictating how and when it’ll happen. While this isn’t a how-to column with my usual practical steps, I hope my story will help some of you who are considering making life changes. I also hope to show how these might positively affect your experience of endometriosis.
I’ve always battled depression and anxiety. They’ve been with me for so long that they’re almost considered personality traits of mine. But in the past few years, the impact of endometriosis on my life and how I’ve had to manage it has caused these conditions to grow and take lead roles. I’ve been able to manage them with mindfulness, supplements, and exercise, but I’ve known for a long time that an even bigger change was needed.
Three years ago, we moved into our beautiful flat in a small village-like town in London. I’ve been a Londoner all my life, and while I’ve done some traveling, the dream has been to escape London and globetrot ever since I can remember. Opportunities and health have kept me tied to London for longer than I had hoped, and in the past few years, that’s really started getting to me.
When we moved into our current home, it was like walking into a cocoon of safety. When I worked in charity as my health spiraled, the only place I felt comforted and safe was my home. I yearned to work solely from there while I licked my wounds and recovered mentally and physically. Central London had become a place that I wanted to avoid and the city was too much to handle with my delicate senses and brain in the midst of depression and anxiety. I needed to retreat into my cocoon, so I could emerge out of it whole and new.
At the same time, I knew I eventually needed to spread my wings. I knew living in London was having a restrictive and negative effect on my body and mind. The stress of the city and the frustration of not living the life I imagined was also impactful. So, I’ve spent the past three years changing my jobs, my hours, and my commute. In the last year, I’ve finally been able to work for myself from home. The empowerment and anxiety relief I’ve felt has been invaluable. It’s given me a huge chance to slow down, and finally center my condition and mental health around me, rather than around a job and a city.
All along, I also knew this move to freelancing was my London exit opportunity. And my safety cocoon has served its purpose. These four walls have comforted me after days filled with pain or anxiety at work, and as I’ve gone self-employed, they’ve been the workspace that doesn’t ask anything of me, other than to be myself.
And after a year of this recuperation, I’m ready. I’m ready for a new life. The quiet and safety of working at home alone have slowly morphed into a kind of isolation, which isn’t good for well-being, especially when living with a chronic condition. And while I still love my home, I know it’s time to fly the coop. I could go and get a workspace in London, but while I need to be around people again, I don’t want to travel in the city. And I’ve been yearning to escape it for years.
Read the rest over on Endometriosis News